How to Spot a Romance Scam, and What to Do If You Are in One

By Heaven Eco Hub · 1 October 2026 · 9 min read

Looking for love online takes courage. You share something of yourself with a stranger and hope they are sharing honestly too. Most people you meet will be exactly that: real people, a little nervous, looking for the same thing you are. But some profiles are built by people whose only aim is to win your trust and then your money, and they are skilled at it.

This guide sets out the signs that UK fraud and safety organisations ask people to watch for, how to check whether someone is who they say they are, how to raise a worry with a friend or relative without pushing them away, and what to do if money has already gone. None of it asks you to stop believing in love. It asks you to let trust be earned at a human pace.

What are the common signs of a romance scam?

Romance fraudsters tend to follow a recognisable pattern. Report Fraud, the police service that replaced Action Fraud, describes it as building trust and an emotional connection over time before asking for money, with reasons such as emergencies, investment opportunities or plans to finally meet. Any one sign on its own can have an innocent explanation. Several together deserve a pause.

• They want to move off the app quickly. An early push to switch to WhatsApp, Telegram, text or email takes the conversation away from a platform that can spot and remove fake profiles. Take Five and the Suzy Lamplugh Trust both suggest keeping conversations on the dating site until you are confident the person is real.
• Love is declared very fast. Intense feelings after only a few conversations, talk of destiny, marriage or a shared future before you have met. It feels wonderful, which is exactly why it is used.
• Video calls and meetings never happen. The camera is always broken, the connection is always poor, or they are always somewhere far away: working offshore, serving overseas, on a medical mission. Each plan to meet falls through at the last moment.
• A crisis arrives that needs money. A hospital bill, a customs fee, a frozen bank account, a ticket to come and see you. The story is often moving and urgent, and there is usually a reason you must not tell anyone.
• The payment method is unusual.Gift cards or vouchers, cryptocurrency, transfers to someone else's account, or money moved through a transfer service. Citizens Advice lists being asked to pay quickly, or in an unusual way, as a warning sign of any scam.
• An "investment" enters the conversation. Some fraudsters never ask for help at all. Instead they share a trading platform or crypto opportunity that is supposedly making them money, and invite you to join them. The platform shows gains on screen, but the money cannot be withdrawn.
• Secrecy, pressure or anger. They ask you to keep the relationship private, to tell your bank the payment is for something else, or they become hurt and angry when you hesitate. Take Five is clear on this one: anyone asking you to mislead your bank is running a scam.

How can I check whether a dating profile is real?

Checking someone is not a betrayal of trust. It is what any careful person does before letting someone close, and a genuine match has nothing to fear from it.

• Reverse image search their photos.Save a profile picture and upload it to Google image search or TinEye. Both Report Fraud and Take Five recommend this. If the same face appears under a different name, on a stock photo site, or on someone else's social media, you have your answer.
• Search their name and details. Look up the name, job and places they mention. A real life usually leaves small, ordinary traces. Copied text from their profile pasted into a search engine can also turn up elsewhere.
• Ask for a live video call. Not a recorded clip, not a voice note: a short live call where you can see each other. Repeated, inventive excuses are a strong signal.
• Listen for inconsistencies. Details that shift between conversations, a writing style that changes, or answers that do not match what they told you before.
• Talk to someone you trust. Take Five suggests speaking to family and friends about the people you match with. An outside view, from someone who cares about you, often sees what is hard to see from inside the feeling.

Protect your own details while you check: the Suzy Lamplugh Trust notes that people on dating sites often share personal information earlier than they would elsewhere. Your home address, workplace and financial details can wait until trust has been built in person.

How do I talk to someone I think is being scammed?

If you are worried about a parent, a friend or a colleague, how you raise it matters as much as what you say. A fraudster has often already warned them that friends and family "will not understand", so a blunt challenge can push them closer to the person deceiving them.

• Start with care, not accusation. "You seem really happy, tell me about them" opens a door that "you are being scammed" may close.
• Ask gentle questions. Have you video called? Have you met? Has money come up? Let them notice the gaps themselves.
• Offer to check together. Sitting beside them while you run a reverse image search on a photo can say more than any argument.
• Never make them feel foolish. Shame keeps people silent and keeps money flowing. Remind them that these criminals are practised, and that being loving is not a mistake.
• Stay close, even if they do not agree. They may not be ready to hear it the first time. Keep the relationship warm so that when doubt arrives, you are the person they come to.

If they are about to send money, encourage them to speak to their bank first. Banks see these patterns regularly and are used to having this conversation kindly.

What should I do if I have already sent money?

First, breathe. Finding out can feel like losing a person and a future at the same moment, as well as the money. Then act quickly, because acting early keeps more options open.

1. Contact your bank immediately.Use the number on the back of your card or on its official website, not any number the other person gave you. Tell them it was a scam. The bank may be able to try to stop or trace payments, and it will help you secure your accounts. Citizens Advice also points people to 159, a UK phone line that connects you to many banks' fraud teams.
2. Stop all payments and contact. Do not send anything more, whatever new reason or promise of repayment you are given. Fraudsters sometimes come back pretending to be a lawyer or a recovery service offering to get your money back for a fee; that is a second scam.
3. Report it to the police.In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, report to Report Fraud, the service that replaced Action Fraud, at reportfraud.police.uk or on 0300 123 2040. In Scotland, contact Police Scotland on 101. Outside the UK, contact your local police and your country's fraud reporting service.
4. Report the profile. Tell the dating app or social platform, so they can remove the account and protect others.
5. Keep the evidence. Screenshots of messages and profiles, payment receipts, usernames and phone numbers. It helps your bank and the police.
6. Look after yourself. Tell someone you trust. Citizens Advice can help you through the next steps, and many people find it helps to talk to a support service as well as friends.

We will be honest with you: recovering money is not certain, and it is not something anyone can promise. What acting quickly does is give your bank the chance to try, protect you from further loss, and help the police build a picture of the people responsible.

How can I stay safe and still look for love?

A scam can leave you wary of everyone, and that is understandable. But the answer is not to close your heart; it is to let trust grow at the speed real relationships move. A few habits make a real difference.

• Keep conversations on the platform until you are confident the person is real.
• Video call before you invest much emotion, and meet in person before you share anything financial at all.
• Treat any request for money, from someone you have not met in person, as the end of the conversation rather than the start of a negotiation.
• When you do meet, choose a public place, tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting, and check in with them before, during and after, as the Suzy Lamplugh Trust advises.
• Notice how you feel. Real interest is patient. Pressure, guilt and urgency are not part of love.

This is part of why Heaven Soul Mates is built around introductions you can take at your own pace, reading what matters to you rather than what you swipe at. Whatever app you use, the same rule holds: a person worth meeting will still be there after you have taken the time to be sure.

Frequently asked questions

Love, at a human pace

If this article found you in the middle of something painful, please be gentle with yourself. Being deceived by someone who set out to deceive you says nothing about your worth or your judgement, and it does not mean love is not out there for you. When you are ready, the Love journey guide is a calm place to start again, with Luna beside you and the Heaven tools that help you meet people with care.